Hello Children's

Friday:

2pm: Some sneezing starts at Kroger

3pm: Text to Ron "I think Jesse might be sick"

5pm: Ron comes home and Pappy comes over to see Jesse....lots of playing with sneezing

9pm: I tell Ron to talk a sleeping pill because I anticipate it will be a long night and I will need him to let me sleep in the morning.

10pm: I prepare her nebulizer in anticipation that it will be needed that night (I should have started giving her treatments hours before)

12:30am 3am 5am 8am: We do treatments, watch videos, hold each other, cry, stand in steamy bathroom, and try to get her to drink liquids.

By the afternoon she was in a relatively good mood with some sneezing, drainage, and light coughing. We would continue treatments every few hours.

2pm: Uh oh....I think I'm starting to get sick too.

At about 5pm her coughing really picked up. The albuterol treatment is a bronchial dilator and will help her cough less. When it doesn't.....that's not good. It is called a rescuer and when it fails to rescue...we've got a problem. We did a treatment and while doing it her cough lessened and as soon as we stopped...the coughing became constant. What makes asthma so scary is it will take a downward turn soooo fast.

This made us a little on edge and we called our pediatrician nursing on call service and while waiting for the call back....Ron said I should go pack her a bag. We had a feeling we would be going to the hospital. At this point Jesse was coughing every 5 seconds. While I was on the phone with her Ron told me we were going to go to the hospital.

I grabbed a few items (now I realize I need an emergency bag to be packed and ready to go) and headed to Dallas.

This time was MUCH different than the last venture to Children's. She was probably coughing the same amount but she wasn't crying...and not just that....she was dancing!!

Daddy actually drove at a semi normal speed and didn't almost get into a road rage incident with a driver like last time...:)

Now how we missed our exit onto 30 and then went the wrong way on 35 coming off 183 is beyond our understanding. The ONE time you don't want to delay arriving at your destination is probably when your daughter is having an asthma attack.


The ER was fairly quiet and we got in quickly. This time around we had the asthma diagnosis and she was quickly given treatments. Children's is a teaching hospital so you are continuously relaying how this started and her history. They loved it when Ron said "You have our history on the computer right???"

She started to cough less when they treated her with the hour long stronger version of albuterol, but she would get agitated when they would poke and prod her...making her cry....which makes her cough...which makes it harder for her to breathe. They did a chest x-ray and a nasal swab...and decided to admit her. As much as we hate being there....we would rather be there than home with her like this.

The albuterol makes her crazy. It raises her heart rate to sometimes 200bpm. It is hard to watch and even harder to help her. The night was bad and we were exhausted. We basically take turns trying to soothe her...and letting her get a few minutes of sleep. She works so hard to breathe...and it makes her so tired.

In the morning they decide to increase her treatments. They listen to her and watch her body struggle to get caught up....and make their decision. At this point she is on oxygen and then given an IV. Ugghhhh...we hate IV's. She is so miserable in teh hospital and I'm so grateful for my brother and sister. They came up and gave us a break from the room. My brother is the eternal entertainer and thoroughly took Jesse's attention away from the treatments that she usually screams through. My sister played with Jesse and came up 3 different days. She loves her aunt coco and loves to be silly with her. I wish all the family lived closer but I know they were thinking of us!

She slowly started to breathe a little easier....and so did Ron and I. We would trade out getting rest and my cold was in full effect which made the hospital and even more uncomfortable place to be.

They were very conservative with cutting back on treatments considering her previous time in ICU. We were released on Tuesday and are trying to get caught back up to real life.

Jesse is doing well and her coughs are minor and productive. I really hate give her these steroids and will keep looking at alternative treatments so she doesn't have to take meds everyday.
Luckily I have heard a lot of feedback that this will be something she outgrows and I am very much hoping that is the case. For now though....it can take a turn for the worse really quick and I have to treat it with what I know works.

Happy 1.5 Jesse

I'm going to assume you have forgiven me for the lapse in posts. I won't go on and on about how I'm going to try to do this 2 or 3 times a week and take as well as post more pics as well.

Jesse is one and a half today. Everyone always says...."It goes by sooooo fast"....and it does....and it doesn't. There were so many times the days would drag by. Having Jesse has in a way disconnected me from part of the life I knew before. Not working outside of the home has decreased my small talk skills and my desire to have conversations with people. Part of it is when Jesse was younger, even when you are around other people you are worried about her crying, getting into things, diaper messes, forgetting an item in the diaper bag, or trying to match her nap with the car ride home so she wouldn't scream so much she would vomit in her car seat. (Which happened more than you would think) Your mind is usually somewhere else and you do lose part of yourself.

Last year people would say..."Oh I bet you can't imagine life without her..." and I'd think..."uhhhhh...yeah....I can. And that life looks like heaven"....Those first 6 months....man they were tough. I think she was a semi easy baby....but wow...she did not let me out of her sight and would barely let anyone besides Ron hold her much at all.

Jesse had to fall asleep to a vacuum cleaner and sometimes that is the only thing that would stop her crying. In the evenings we would turn it on and I would take her into the bathroom and turn the lights off and just sway her. She would get fussy in the evening for the first 3 months and it was a constant stress. Ron would be gone during the week and when he would come home Friday night I was so ready for some help.

Today...I absolutely can't imagine my life without her. I am sooo very lucky to be able to stay at home with her. She is so funny and silly and smart. She makes incredibly entertaining faces and she likes to kiss and pet my back. She dances like no one is watching and dances even better when everyone is watching. She has a terribly evil laugh when she chases me with a water hose and she has mastered her fake laugh. She is extremely neat and doesn't like things to be out of order which makes me think my real baby is living in a pristine home with a frustrated mother that doesn't understand why her daughter is so messy. She waves at everyone she sees and is observant of everything. She has had MRI's, chest x-rays, surgery removing 2 hemangiomas, 4 different Emergency Room visits, 6 hospitals, an IV infiltrate with a third degree burn, a diagnosis of asthma, a near incubation, and one week in ICU.

She puts a smile in my heart and joy to my life.

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This past week we had a visit from my mom's first cousin Nesa and her daughter Delaney from Pittsburgh. Delaney turned 13 and when asked what trip she would like to take her requests were 1) to take a plane ride and 2) to come see Jesse. How sweet is that???

They got here Saturday and forced Ron and I to leave the house. We left for a night and came back Sunday night. Delaney is soooo good with children and will be an incredible babysitter!!! We had a great time and can't wait till they come back.

We have been trying to do some craft items recently, but unfortunately for Jesse, Mommy is not the best at arts and crafts. So play do and finger paint will do for now until I learn some other things.

Here is Jesse today......Happy 1.5!!!